NOVEMBER

is not my favorite month. from the last week in October thru November I have lost so many friends
and family members, that I am always glad when November is over.

21 years ago today, on Nov 19, 1987 my husband of 35 years died. I remember that day very well.
I had spent most of the day at the hospital and the only ones who spoke to me were the nurses. Wayne
was heavily sedated and as I sat by his bedside listening to his raspy irregular breathing (mostly
induced by heavy dosages of morphine), I was literally worn out. This was the 19th day of his
hospitalization and the nurses kept predicting that "by the time I get back from my 2 days off, he will
be gone" How I secretly wished they had been right, put an end to the suffering, but he lingered on.

Knowing I was at the end of my rope, but still hanging on, Beth and Henry decided I needed a break
Henry would pick me up shortly after 4 pm when he got off work and then we would get Beth and
the girls and we would go to dinner. Then if I wanted to go back to the hospital they would take me.

We went to Coco's. One of the places Wayne and I went to regularily. The manager asked here Wayne
was, and I explained to him what was going on in our life at the time. He expressed his feelings and
later when our dinner was served, our waitress said the manager was paying for our meal. Henry,
whose sense of humor was always dry, but uplifting said, Hmm I wonder where we could go and
do this tomorrow night. by now, it was after 7 pm and I decided to just go home and then return
to the hospital the next morning. Shortly after 11 pm Dr. Rohde called me and said the my husband
had passed away just moments before. Ohmygosh, the guilt set in. I should have gone back, but
then I thought I wasn't supposed to be there. He was with his friends, the nurses, and of course
he never regained consciousness. the doctor told me there wasn't a nurse to be found after he
passes, they all went to wherever they go when they need solitude. they were such a great group,
and they all loved him. They told me so. 3 of them attended his funeral service.

It was a week before Thanksgiving. Dawn and Chip had moved to Henderson the September before.
They had made so many trips back to Calif that fall because evertime I had to put him in the
hospital the staff suggested I call my family. It was a tough month.

Outside his hospital window was a huge pine tree. Throughout the 19 days a mourning dove roosted
in that tree. I saw it a time or two, didn't spend too much time looking out the window, but Henry,
who came on his lunch hour every day called my attention to it and said it was there every day.
I found a lot of comfort and peace in that. God letting me know He was with us. Also during that
time we became very close to the Chaplain at Inter-Community. An Australian, Rev. Ray Box,
who took a special interest in our family. He and his wife came up to the hospital and the 4 of us
celebrated Holy Communion, One of the last conscious things Wayne did.

On Monday, the day before his services, which Rev Box officiated at, he called me to the hospital
to get some personal facts about Wayne for the service. He also loaded up our car with a complete
Thanksgiving dinner, donated by KMart. Knowing full well nobody wanted to go shopping at that
point.

The service was beautifully done at Forest Lawn Cemetary, using their chapel. So many people
were there. I knew he had touched a lot of lives, but truly did not the full extent of it. I miss him
a lot.

I want to finish up the story of the mourning doves. The day before Thanksgiving was my Aunt
Clara's birthday. I called her to wish her Happy Birthday, and we talked a long time. Her husband
had died not too long before this so we had a lot in common. While we were talking a mourning
dove appeared on my patio. I mentioned it to Aunt Clara and she said "Doesn't that spook you" I
said No, it's just God letting me know everything was OK. Didn't see the bird again until just around
Christmas when the kids came over to clean the yard and the bird swooped down over Beth's head
and she looked up and said Yes, Dad, We are cleaning up all your s__t! It appeared once more,
a year later on the anniversay of his death and I have not seen it since.

Love you all